| Thursday, February 17th, 2005 |
| 8:01 am |
heart of gold
with a heart of gold, what would one do? would you try to be the extra hand everyone needs, or go on about your life as if your strongly desire to do good has vanished... this can cause problems. he commited suicide. vaguely i remeber how hed often do favors for people around the ulpan for no reason other than doing a good deed. his mother was leah, in charge of the rooms the ulpan stayed in and was often like a second mother. she too had a big heart. only now can one wonder what could he have become? with so much good inside, how did so much pain come about? its stories like this that make you stop and appreciate what you have. its when it slips away faster than the eye can see that people then want it. he was a man with the heart of gold. |
| Sunday, February 6th, 2005 |
| 2:53 am |
fuck life.
I’m about to be on the floor again, Surely you’re gonna find me here I’m about to sleep until the end of time, Drug I take gonna wake My fear right now I’m passing away on to the Better life I’m passing away on To the better I’m about to see just how far I can fly, Surely your gonna break my fall I’m about to run as fast as I can, Head long into that wall This time I’m passing away on to the Better life I’m passing away on To the better On to the better life On to the better I’m about to be on the floor again, Surely you’re gonna find me here I’m about to sleep until the End of time, drug I take gonna wake my fear right now I’m passing away on to the Better life I’m passing away on To the better I’m passing away on to the Better life I’m passing away on To the better |
| Friday, January 28th, 2005 |
| 2:27 am |
dudu
fuck that. its not worth what i could lose. yeah hes a lil' younger but hes awsome. if hed be with someone else, id be sad. i want him n only him. classes started monday. first days always a bitch, but the hard part is always at the end. fuckin school. gana go paint n dream. |
| Thursday, January 20th, 2005 |
| 11:37 pm |
is this really it?
the car drove up next to me. you got out of the car and took off your hat. if i had pictured it before he told me, it woulda been exactly how he looked. so young and innocent looking; clean; not pat. the smile was the same.. and the walk.the talk. still pat. shocked for a lil - emotionally fucked. the smoke cleared; your pat. your cool. as a friend. fuck the drama. real soft and quite, a voice rang "he'll be home sunday,". buzz! awake. real. purple. he understands. under the crushed bones and burned flesh we sit together in the darkness. |
| Monday, January 10th, 2005 |
| 12:09 am |
You Are a Visionary Soul |
You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.
You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.
Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul
| |
| Monday, December 27th, 2004 |
| 2:59 pm |
i spoke to you today. 2 times. the first time, my brain went into hyped-up holy-shit mode. you basicly told me youve given up on relationships.. somehow i get a feeling your going to find someone else. heart sinking, aching. shivers takeover my body due to the brutal reality that its over. the only one to completely over turn my life and emotions, n its over. denial. regret. pain. if only i did follow up on all the great ideas to show you my love. here comes newyears eve. alone again, in the dark, why must i always crawle into the dark? death has taken over emotions. |
| 1:45 am |
again i woke up thinking of you. here i am, about to go to sleep, thinking of you. what can i do? so many ideas, so much effort and soo no point. nothing can make up for what i did; nothing can make you care for me as you once did. just thinking about you with someone else makes my heart ache, a stab to the chest with a knife would be better than living through the time spend without you. life almost felt complete being held by you. if only i wasnt terrified of your love. im sorry. |
| Friday, December 24th, 2004 |
| 6:17 pm |
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| 5:11 pm |
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| 5:01 pm |
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| 4:49 pm |
 Congrats, you've got a little Rufus in you! Raised on opera and his mother's show-biz sensibility, Rufus is a master songwriter and performer. Though prone to excess and moodiness, his off-kilter sense of humor and fashion and his radiant presence make him a joy to be around. Don't be ashamed; if this still small voice speaks up within you (with a bit of a slur and a lisp), listen up! He could make you a star. Who's your inner gay man? brought to you by Quizilla |
| 4:17 pm |
i dont want a new one i want my druggy puppy. Current Mood:  annoyed |
| 4:12 pm |
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| 3:56 pm |
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| 3:32 pm |
the storm continues on through the night. while her tears flow the rain falls. never had she noticed how many people drove jeeps until she ultimitly pushed him away. she believes he is an angel acting as a devi. the similarities between them could make one believe they are soulmates; if the belief of the soul exists. This was all too familier to her. the tears, the sorrow, the pain. the desire to snort, cut, smoke, and bake life into the same nothing that the world gives to her.within every movie, something triggers her memory and the more and more memories, the more pain. " stop it!" but no one can stop it but herself. the lack of control kills the mind and the thoughts run in all directions. he is beautiful inside and out, if only she could have held up a clean mirror rather than a dirty one. |
| 3:27 pm |
Elana, you're a Lethal Weapon! You're open-minded, enthusiastic, and popular. Chances are you might even break the rules sometimes. You're motivated and serious, and you always jump at the chance to take on a new project. Innovation and abstract thinking are your strengths. You get cabin fever if you're cooped up too long. Sometimes you'd rather just work on an independent project so you can concentrate without having to deal with people. And you secretly question your self-worth. |
| 3:17 pm |
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| 3:15 pm |
Current Mood:  worried |
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lanananan's journal
